Ron Artest - A Great Example for Your Young Athlete

We should endeavor to teach our boys the character of a man.  Professional athletes often give us great examples for this instruction.  Yesterday, Ron Artest provided one such “gem”.  If you haven't seen the video (in which he elbowed James Harden in the head) take a look at it and then read on.

Artest Elbows Harden Video

You might consider using this with your 10 to 18 year old like this.  Show him the clip and then ask him what he thinks about it.  What is important to teach is that this elbow was:

1.      Not incidental

2.      Not during the struggle of a rebound or a play

3.      Intended to make contact with Harden

4.      Wound up to deliver a significant impact

Boys do not naturally develop an understanding of how to be both “tough” and restrained within the same game.  Likewise, they often do not know how to be both “tough” and restrained in the course of life.  The character of “toughness” and restraint in sports should be taught just like the virtues of courage and emotional restraint (temperance) were taught to Greek Warriors 2,500 years ago.  These men were tough by any measure; just ask the Romans, Egyptians and Persians.  But they also valued temperance, prudence and justice.  This stands in great contrast to Ron Artest who demonstrated that he lacks the tools of a man of character.  And, unlike the Greek Warrior, he operates from a dangerous, unpredictable core that is hard to differentiate from a child. 

Artest is a great athlete who has done well for himself despite being suspended 13 times, at least 3 of which were egregious, vicious responses to circumstances where a man of developed courage and restraint would have responded significantly differently.  I say this because although an opinion might be that Artest has been successful despite his lack of operative virtue, the reality is that he has squandered his potential as an athlete, teammate, role model and even earning power because he never developed the male characteristics that sustain families, communities and civilizations… and yes, winning teams.

Raising Boys of Classical Courage

I'm not saying that an athlete should be tentative, I profess the exact opposite.  Were Artest to have elbowed Harden in the course of a rebound while clearing his rightful space, I would commend him.  In the same way, I would argue disdain for the young man who uses his strength to beat up someone to prove his “toughness”, while I would commend a young man who uses his strength to viciously defend a woman, a child or an elderly man from the wrong use of strength of another man.  The man of courage can be both viciously dangerous and restrained in pressure situations because he has trained himself to distinguish the right application of both.

Take the time to teach this virtue to your young athletes.  Don’t allow them to argue with referees, coaches and other players.  Do not allow them to extend contact past the play, but encourage them to play with absolute, “dangerous”, fearless and right physical contact from “whistle to whistle”.

Remember, how your boy plays on the “fields of friendly strife” will be how he fights the greatest battles of his life.

Raising Boys of Classical Courage

A boy imagines himself locked in courageous battle with an evil foe.  He feints right, dives left, jumps up and thrusts his sword at this invisible enemy.  There is nothing more authentically “boy” than this.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand that this kind of courage is present in men who develop it over many years.  He doesn't know that it is a hard fought virtue.  He is also oblivious to courage’s contemporary counterfeit impostors that woo him with a deadly, siren like call.  Most boys are attracted to the strength, the audacity and the respect afforded to the timeless image of the “bully”.  And more recently, pop culture sells him the virtue of the modern “gangsta”.  I’m not saying that most boys want to actually become bullies or gangsters, only that the image of being on top of the pecking order, to never fear another, to be recognized as a tough guy appeals to their adolescence like red meat is desired by a hungry lion. 

And we, as parents, coaches and mentors often confront our boys as if we can convince the "lion" to simply ignore the red meat, “just turn away and be a good boy” we implore!  Despite the ominous nature of this task, it is more important than ever that we replace contemporary culture’s distortion of courage with its classical ancestor.  This is the true and timeless courage that guided the characters of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr. and countless other great men of virtuous distinction.  

I believe that with the right plan, the right context and the right consistency we can inspire our boys to desire this classical courage once again.  Thomas Jefferson said, “One man with courage is a majority.”  This may be the “better feast” that draws his developing, yet "lion" heart away from the red meat and towards the courage that builds healthy families, communities and civilizations.  We must introduce and encourage our sons, our players our students to become “one man majorities”, who know great restraint and fearless assertiveness while mastering the appropriate application of both. 

George Washington was a “one man majority”, a man of classical courage. 

Developing Courage in “Practice”

At the age of 16, he spent cold winters surveying the wilderness for months where the French, Native Americans, and nefarious bandits posed great threat to vulnerable British colonists.  In doing so, he practiced courage as a teenager where the variables were unpredictable and the stakes were extremely high.

Refining Courage in “Games”

On behalf of the British Crown, at the age of 21, Washington led a small detachment of men through the unforgiving Ohio Valley winter.  He negotiated Native escorts who at the end of his journey nearly killed him.  He engaged adversarial French Generals twice his age.  And then down to himself and his trusted companion, he fell into the icy Allegheny River while attempting to escape across it on a makeshift raft.  Washington practiced courage in the harsh elements, the frozen river and in the cross hairs of many dangerous men.  The variables were unpredictable and the stakes were even higher.

Applying Classical Courage in the Greatest Battles of His Life

It was no surprise that in his mid forties as the Leader of the Continental Army, General Washington led his troops across a partially frozen Delaware River, daring the elements in order to launch an audacious surprise attack against the British.  And as we know, despite the infinite variables of war when the stakes were highest, he did so successfully.  George Washington practiced courage in his youth and was therefore unsurprisingly courageous as a General when a nation depended on his right application of great restraint and fearless leadership.



"On the fields of friendly strife are
sown the seeds that upon other fields, on
other days, will bear tne fruits of victory."

 Your son or player bears within him this possibility of courageous greatness.  Sure, the fate of our nation may not rely upon him like Washington, but many will rely upon his courage or suffer in the absence of it.  He must be redirected from the allure of pop culture and be challenged to practice real courage, classical courage, the courage of Washington, Lincoln and King Jr.  This can be done on the McArthian “fields of friendly strife”.  But it takes a thoughtful practice plan, deliberate game encouragement and timely connections with real life application. Sports uniquely present an infinite number of “pressure cooker” situations within a demanding environment that cannot be predicted, controlled nor completely mastered – the variables are unpredictable and the stakes are often high!

In the weeks to come, I will offer a strategy designed to inspire and encourage your boys to practice classical courage.  Because, I believe that every young athlete has voluntarily entered classical courage’s arena and is waiting for his coach, his parent, his teacher to arrive.  I believe that in this arena, we can raise up a generation of lion hearts who have the restraint to turn from the red meat of “bully-hood” and “gangsta-life” in order to fiercely, dare I say courageously devour those things that would otherwise hurt families, destroy communities and corrupt civilizations.  I believe that your son, your player, your student is one good parent, coach or teacher away from becoming a “one man majority” who will one day courageously change his world for the better.

  Remember, how your boy plays on the “fields of friendly strife” will be how he fights the greatest battles of his life.