Inspiring a Boy to Practice and Acquire Character Through Sports

 This generation, more than any other, is a visual one.  Many will form their ideal views of what it means to be a hero or what it means to act with courageous character from the movies, video games or professional sports.  Sometimes this is good; there are occasionally depictions of good men who demonstrate courageous character.  But more times than not, these images lack clarity and often reinforce distorted images of courage and virtuous character.  If we leave this image to be constructed within the hearts and minds of our boys to the actor or the athlete, we will lose this generation and those to come.

We have many great opportunities to encourage the actions and behaviors of our sons, when they practice courage, good judgment, emotional control and concern for others in the course of playing sports.  Here is an example of what I would call a “Courageous Character Challenge Visual”. 



Add pictures of your son or player at the bottom, in the act
of practicing courageous character

 

This one, I put together for one of my sons who is beginning to consider the idea that being a strong and courageous man is not something he will wake up one day and “just be”.  As Vince Lombardi said directly about “winning” he more subtly implies that the development of courageous character, is “not a sometime thing”.  To determine to grow into a man of strength and courage, a boy must make practicing things that require strength and courage a regular thing, an “all time thing”.  This means that in the halls of school, on the playgrounds and in social settings and hundreds of times per practice and in games, he is given the opportunity to choose courage over cowardice and complacency.  Each time he chooses to act courageously, he reorients ever so slightly his nature from one of self-preservation that sticks to the path of least resistance to one of courageous character.

One typical challenge for coaches and parents is to ignite the imagination of their boys.  The typical youth athlete is extremely motivated to improve upon skills in the areas that provide immediate gratification.  In basketball, it is shooting and dribbling, for soccer it is scoring and handling the ball, in football it is running the ball, passing and catching.  Many of these young athletes do so in order to win, to dominate their opponents or to simply “look cool”.  And yet, what can be most important for our boys is to learn that practicing not just the “glory” things, but the little things “perfectly”, “all the time” (again as extolled by Lombardi) is what  changes the character of a boy into a productive man, a man of courageous character.  These “little things” might be practicing every drill hard no matter how tired one gets and after others have thrown in the towel; or it might be taking a charge for the team; it may be practicing a pick to perfection so that in the big game it effectively gets another open for the “glory shot”.  None of this comes from chasing perfection during a game, it becomes a reality only when one walks it, jogs it, and executes it at game speed hundreds of times in practice, sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding, so that the moment when everything rides on executing it, practice has birthed an instinctive reaction that “just does” and does so “perfectly”.

How a boy acts and plays during practice and in games shapes his character for life.  Challenge him and teach him the virtue of “perfect practice” in all things.

Corageous Leaders Made on the Courts and Fields of Vancouver, WA

As a boy, Austin Luher played three competitive sports through high school.  As a man, he led men and women on the battlefield in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Stories like this one, which I stumbled across in my local newspaper, have been told hundreds of thousands of times since at least the Greek Empire.  Unfortunately, when in the hands of the media or pop culture, they often go untold, or they do not highlight the critical point.  And that point is, the way a boy chooses to practice and compete in sports determines how he will fight the greatest battles that await him in his future. 

General Douglas MacArthur said, “On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory.”  Unfortunately, an alarming number of parents, coaches, athletic directors and mentors focus solely on sports skill development and winning, while allowing our youth to to go unchallenged in the area of courageous character development.  What’s most upsetting is that, as MacArthur says, the athletic field or court is precisely the place that we should be encouraging, challenging and demanding our sons to practice courageous character.

This is why I was delighted to see such a positive example trumpeted in my local sports section (The Columbian Newspaper, 12/28/11 – Great Job Paul Valencia - http://www.columbian.com/news/2011/dec/28/luhers-career-as-soldier-started-as-prep-athlete/).  The article sounded so MacArthur-ish from the beginning:
“There is a direct correlation between the things that need to happen for a team to win a match and for a military unit to accomplish a mission.  Determine the goal, motivate, train, execute.”

Luher’s experience and leadership character that was developed on “the fields of friendly strife” was credited as critical to his success on the battlefield.   In the article, Luher was quoted as saying, “Our job is to follow orders and execute orders and make sure we bring home everybody safe… For Luher, that meant he had to focus on his specific part of the effort. Yes, to perform as a team. When he played basketball for Evergreen, he was an all-league point guard. A distributor, if you will, the assist man. He did not have to score all the points to help his team win.”

“Running a supply convoy, how am I really affecting the bigger picture?” Luher asked himself. “I’m pushing supplies to the infantry guys. They’re able to sustain in the middle of nowhere. My supplies allow them to function out there, get intelligence, and in return, they’re able to take out bad guys. It’s very encouraging to know we helped. I’m very proud of the units I’ve been a part of and our efforts.”

This is just a small snapshot of the article, but you cannot read it without recognizing that parents, coaches and mentors invested heavily in the development of Luher’s character while on the competitive field and practice grounds.  They did not teach him the popular view of sports, “to win at all costs (individually), to dominate your opponent and to look good while doing it”.  Rather, Luher was taught that critcal to any team’s success is the dedication to a role, the commitment to the success of his team must exceed his desire for personal success or glory.  He was taught well (by learning it in the context and even “battle” of competitive sports) that there are no individuals, that each must sacrifice to make the team better, more effective.

We should continue to salute young men and women like Captain Austin Luher, and his parents, coaches, teachers and mentors.  I am certain that there were a critical few who determined to not just let young Austin develop his athletic skills, but equally challenged him to desire, practice and develop courageous character that ultimately enabled him to lead others in accomplishing life and death missions.  And of course it goes without saying that we should be much more deliberate in the way we encourage, challenge and coach our boys, because they will fight their greatest battles tomorrow the way they practice in sports today.  

Bothersome & Remarkable - "Tim Tebow"

   The news coverage of Tim Tebow is beginning to bother me.  His name is everywhere… on every sports channel… in every sports section and argued between many sports enthusiasts.  If you don’t know him by now, you just aren’t plugged in.  As a quarterback at the University of Florida and now of the Denver Broncos, he has consistently demonstrated an exceptional competitive spirit and an uncanny ability to step up his performance in the most critical moments.  Who he is on and off the field draws either great admiration or hard hitting critique from the media, pundants and fans.  Some elevate him to an almost devine status while others can’t wait for Tebow to have a total meltdown as a player and as a man.  Recently, everyone was reacquainted with the fact that Tebow is, after all, human, as he and the Denver Broncos fell to the legendary Tom Brady led Patriots.  It’s not the over-the-top news coverage about Tebow that bothers me, his sometimes ugly come-from-behind wins are nothing if not news worthy.  It’s not even the extreme nature of the critiques that annoy me; it’s what is not being talked about that is so troublesome.

After his 6^th win in a row… a reporter asked him, “Do you think this was your best game?”  He said something to the effect of, “DT had an awesome game, the offensive line played great, my teammates make me look a lot better than I really am.”  His humility tangibly and poignantly contrasted with a sports world that is so often dominated by ego-maniacal, self promoting personalities.  But, that’s not what was so remarkable to me.  Many athletes will feign such comments in a mechanical effort to bolster the value of their personal brands, trying to endear themselves to the media, their teammates or fans for self-gain.  What was so remarkable to me was that Tebow said it with such clarity, such fluidity, such sincerity.  He said it so naturally.  Perhaps this is simply because he is actually a humble man… perhaps just like football, he has been practicing humility since he was a child.

   This is the bullseye for which we parents, coaches and teachers should be aiming.  This is the message we should be shouting from the mountaintops to our young boys, because unfortunately pop culture and the media aren’t going to do it for us.  The message is not that Tim Tebow is great role model, although he may very well be.  The remarkable message is that in conjunction with practicing the multitude of football skills necessary to play in the NFL, he has undoubtedly practiced humility countless times before he found himself the intrigue of the media, fans and commentators.  I have no doubt that a young Tim Tebow was surrounded with some combination of family, coaches, teachers and mentors who systematically and consistently encouraged him to practice this virtue of humility. 

   This type of humility is not natural.  It is grafted into the character of a man over decades, one small success, one experience, and often one painful failure at a time.  This form of humility is the result of swimming upstream against one’s own childish ego time after time.  It takes root in the form of emotional restraint, when one builds the strength to harness his desire to be recognized for personal greatness in order to elevate the value of others.  Time’s plow cultivates a wisdom that reminds us that we are “players in” but not the “centers of” the circumstances that surround us.  What ultimately blossoms is a humility which recognizes our own potential and responsibility to lift others above ourselves, even as the spotlight turns its tantalizing rays towards us. 

   The great Roman statesman, Cicero, said:

“Virtue is what happens when wise and courageous choices have become second nature.”

Tebow, in a small way, demonstrates this “virtue” but even moreso, examplifies the fruits of many, dedicated teachers, coaches and family who encouraged a child to put aside his “first nature” and pursue a life of virtue that includes humility.  I am certain that it did not at first come natural for Tebow, but at some point became more clear, more fluid, more sincere within him.  Fast forward to last week when the words fell from his mouth like a river falls over the edge of a cliff.  He said it as if nature had just created him that way.

   As parents, coaches, teachers and mentors, we ought to direct our boy’s attentions to famous men like Tebow, and also to those less famous who have practiced putting aside their childish fears, egos, and uncontrolled emotions in order to pursue lives with greater meaning, greater value, greater virtue.  Millions of boys in sports aspire to be great athletes and we should encourage this pursuit of great-ness.  Yet, very few of these boys recognize that they have an incredible potential to be great men, men of virtue, men of humility.  Plant these seeds within your sons, your players, your students.  Challenge them; encourage them; nourish them and perhaps a remarkable Tebow-like blossom may someday spring forth from them.