Coaching Boys to WIN in Life

If you are coaching to WIN games, you can stop reading, there is nothing here for you.  But, if you are coaching to teach boys how to win the great battles of their lives, then read on…

The Problem

Let me state the obvious, our boys don’t want to learn how to live life successfully, they simply want to learn how to WIN games.  Left to their own devices most of our boys would play sports, while learning very little about life.  This seems somewhat contrary to the popular view of the value of sports.  It is often said that learning to WIN and practicing hard helps a boy negotiate life successfully.  It is also said that playing sports teaches boys sportsmanship or how to win and lose with grace.  And so, we hand our boys off to coaches who really, really want to WIN games and we convince ourselves that some good is happening in the midst of it all.  But I ask you to take one look at the NBA and ask yourself, does committing a life to sports necessarily teach boys anything about negotiating life successfully?  Does it teach them sportsmanship? 

The Opportunity

Our boys need parents and coaches who understand that:

1.      The skills necessary to WIN games are not necessarily the skills that will help our boys negotiate life’s greatest challenges successfully

2.      The skills necessary to negotiate life’s greatest challenges successfully are the exact skills that will help any boy WIN more games.

As an example, learning to dribble, shoot and defend well will not help a young man to stick with a young family when the going gets really, really rough.  But, teaching a boy the virtue of courage (by motivating him to practice it every minute on the floor) and how it will help him defend more tenaciously, shoot more confidently and handle the ball with more authority will.  And, although he will believe that he is only honing a skill to WIN more games, he is actually practicing a skill that may help him dig deeper when he, let's say, has a toddler, a new born, a wife recovering from a C-Section and a demanding boss who doesn’t care about any of these. 

Yes, I believe that we can teach some of life’s most important skills to boys who simply want to WIN games.  They will sign up to be the most astute students of the game, while we will teach them as the most astute students of life.

Something to Think About

I coach a fifth grade basketball team, and I am certain none of these boys know that I desire to teach them about life.  At the same time these boys are model students because they believe I am teaching them what they need to be better basketball players.  I, of course, believe that I am teaching ten astute students both. 

There are, I’m sure, and infinite number of good approaches to this.  The key is to have the courage and commitment to take at least one of them.  Here is an example of what we do before practice 1 time per week.  We meet for no more than 5 minutes and talk about a historical or contemporary man who did or said something that sheds light on what it takes to be a successful man (but, we discuss, what it takes to be a WINning ball player).  And then I ask them to come to the next practice prepared to tell me who the person is and “what they said” has to do with them and basketball.  For no more than 2-3 minutes, we talk about this man and his message.  

This is just one example of a single practice “Something to Think About” starter.

The next practice we talk about the idea that "every task on the floor is important".  Only one person will score the winning shot or get to take the ball up the floor under pressure, but every job on the floor is equally important.  Setting good picks, playing good defense off of the ball, boxing out etc. are all equally important.  And, when you are in the spotlight, a great competitor gives credit to everyone on his team, not seeking attention for his own contribution (Concern for others and humility).

After a couple of weeks, a life skill and subsequently a basketball skill is brought to conclusion:

Before a game, I will reintroduce this page with some notes at the bottom that asks each player to think about how how they perform the tasks we have been practicing.  I challenge them to look at this page after the game and evaluate for themselves how they:

o   Boxed out

o   Played help defense

o   Ran the offense

o   Took good shots

o   Etc.

I would ask any coach to consider what he is teaching his players and how it relates to successful life skills.  With a little planning, we can teach our boys how to WIN the greatest battles awaiting them in their future while at the same time teaching them how to WIN the next game.