Pete Carroll - Leading the Seahawks Strategically: The Tension Between Two Extremes

Business owners, company executives, coaches and leaders of any organization can learn from Seattle Seahawks coach, Pete Carroll. His example could be the exact antidote for the things that ail your organization. Recently, I caught an interview of Cliff Avril, the NFL all-pro from the Seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks have been arguably one of the top two prolific teams over the past 5 years. What I heard in this interview peaked my interest, so I dug in a little deeper. I learned that Pete Carroll is a brilliant, strategic leader. Since he leads in the sport realm, many of you will think I’m just talking about his game-time “strategies”. But I’m not. He is an executive who is innovating strategic leadership in an arena where experimentation is more often met with overwhelming criticism and failure.

1.       Strong strategy frees an organization

The interviewer tried to put his finger on what it’s like to “play for Pete”. He hemmed and hawed getting the question out… “Talking about Seattle’s philosophy… I don’t know, open-minded… it certainly seems like Seattle started that trend… ‘be you’… isn’t that the Pete Carroll thing?” Avril responds, “I think so, honestly, because that was the biggest adjustment for me… through your college years, if you’re with certain (NFL) programs… It’s more of a militant type of thing, we have to be hard on these guys so they play a certain way, kinda make ‘em afraid in a certain sense. But coach Carroll has a different approach he allows guys to be themselves within being able to play the game.”

The interviewer continued to press this “Be you” style of leadership. He was trying to poke holes, “But the other side of it… jawing on the field… and literally pointing fingers… does that carry on after the game?”

Avril then defends Carroll’s approach, “That’s a part of thing that Coach Carroll has created in a sense of allowing guys to voice their opinions… that makes you stronger as a team… people aren’t afraid to call another person out… now don’t get disrespectful about it… but if you call another player out because your gonna’ go to bat for him… you need him to do the same… (and then) I need to up my game to match his…”

This may not seem remarkable to some, but Pete Carroll has succeeded, in a place where extreme violence MUST be perfectly and precisely managed, to allow for a great deal of creativity, style and personal opinion.  In fact, many of his players, like Cliff Avril, believe this is the source of differentiating success. His organization plays free, loose, fun and creatively, yet with extreme prejudice to win created only through personal ownership and team (corporate) loyalty. Just don’t make the mistake that most do.  Many believe this is just the contagious nature of Carroll’s gregarious and competitive personality, and no doubt that has something to do with it, but he has designed, implemented and expertly cultivated every aspect of his organization’s culture with this exact end in mind. Carroll’s strategy frees the Seahawks to complete at their best and is a great example of what strong strategy can do, not to control an organization but to breath autonomous, fluid and personal ownership into it.

2.       Strong strategy establishes clear and unwavering norms

After watching this interview with Avril, I jumped over to Seahawks.com and watched the first player interview I could find. It was the second day of rookie camp, so I watched an interview of a cornerback from the University of Central Florida, Shaquill Griffin. He talked about his first day on the Seahawks practice field. If there is one thing the Seahawks are known for it is their Legion of Boom, led by all-pro safeties Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor and all-pro cornerback Richard Sherman. Yes, they are fabulous athletes, but I was surprised to hear Griffin say, “it’s totally different for me it’s a whole new technique… they told me whatever you learned in college, just throw it out.”

This made me reflect upon the brilliance of Carroll’s leadership even further. In a world where athletes are already highly skilled and have played at the top of their games since the 5^th grade, it is very natural for them to not want to change everything in terms of style or technique. And yet, Carroll’s organization changes everything. I watched press conference after press conference and heard the same theme repeatedly. Though the team enjoys a sort of freedom like no other team, many things are still very specifically scripted and every player is held to the execution standard of conformity and perfection. The remarkable thing however, as Avril articulated, is that the players love the environment, the culture. It is apparent that Carroll expertly dreamed of a balance between very specific guidance AND freedom to play and enjoy the game. Then he planted it, cultivated it and grew it to fruition.

3.       Strong strategy builds the right guardrails and opens freedom-highways

This is perhaps where Carroll’s personality plays a bigger role. Balancing centralized authority and non-wavering expectations with high levels of personal ownership. To support the freedom to create, to take risk, to fail and to learn while at the same time elevating a culture that embraces conformity to some of the most minute execution details may be easier for him becomes to some degree it comes naturally. But I would bet, if you asked Carroll, he would say that he has often made mistakes managing this balance, but that he continue to return to his strategy in order to continuously improve his ability to live in the tension between these two extremes.

So what should Carroll’s example inspire us to do?

As managers or coaches who desire to be strategic leaders, we ought to aspire to live in the tension between extremes. Pete Carroll’s affirmation comes often comes from what his players say in public. Avril says (and I paraphrase), we are great because our leaders give us tremendous and sometimes dangerous freedom. Griffin says (paraphrased), the Seahawks are great because our leaders hold us all accountable to even the smallest of details. They describe, freely and authentically, the results of an organization being driven by a great strategic leader. And therefore we should ask ourselves, what do our employees, our players our members say about us as leaders? Do they brag about the personal ownership they feel? Do they act as if they have vast freedoms in anything not specifically prescribed within the culture? And, those things with specific guidance, do they talk about how important they are to execute really well? Do they boast about how the culture self-polices the right execution of these no-debates? Is the tension that exists within your organization between the extremes toward which you are encouraging them to go, or is the tension a result of dysfunction?

Strategic leaders live in the tension between freedom and hyper-executional-discipline. And it is there, that the great ones, like Carroll, erect the right guardrails and then let the freedom-highways operate at high speed.

Raising Lone Survivors

Michael P Murphy - Courageous Leader
& Medal of Honor Recipient

I believe there are times when we need to expose our teenage boys to ugly realities that they don’t often come across in their average, suburban-American lives.  The movie "Lone Survivor” portrays the realistic ugliness of war and the high price that is often paid by some so that we can live in a free and prosperous nation. Our boys often live sheltered lives with very little practice in sacrifice, courage and great consequence.  I would challenge you to consider the possibility of attending this movie with your teenage son (I would say at least 15 and up), yet armed with an agenda.  I believe that a few timely questions after this experience can jump start young minds and wandering hearts towards maturity and virtue.

Last week I took my 15 year old son, Nathan, to this movie.  My wife and I normally protect our boys from movies with such violent, realistic story lines.  However, we were both moved when we saw it and believed it to be fundamentally different from other “blood and guts” hero movies.  (Disclaimer: This is not a universally good teaching tool. Please see the movie and make your own decision before exposing your teenagers to it - Pluggedin.com Assessment).

In this true story of a Navy Seal mission in Afghanistan gone bad, there are some invaluable lessons to be learned:

• In real life, young men find themselves in very morally ambiguous situations in which although the right thing may be very easy to identify, it can be incredibly difficult to choose.

• Leaders are extremely important in life and they are not born, rather they are built one decision at a time.

• Although emotionally disruptive situations may threaten the effectiveness of a team, emotions which threaten the team’s success must be abandoned quickly.

Pop culture, like movies, can provide a meaningful catalyst to ignite valuable life lessons.  In the movie, the Navy Seals mission is compromised when 3 nomadic goat herders stumble upon their position.  Since the Seals lost communication with their support elements, they must quickly decide: kill these civilian (and perhaps Taliban sympathizing) prisoners or let them go and risk a quick response from a numerically superior enemy only minutes away.  The four Seals argue vehemently.  The virtues and follies of both arguments are portrayed well, under duress.  Teenage boys will easily understand how killing these prisoners can make perfect sense, while at the same time, their consciences will gnaw at them silently.  The ambiguity of what makes a decision "right" will immediately become palpable to them.

Ultimately, the leader steps in a makes a decision.  This well trained team quickly puts the argument behind them and prepares for the actions that will be required to give them all a chance at survival.

Let me give you some questions to ask boys who play competitive sports.  These questions will get them thinking emotionally about life, how they practice it and how they pursue it.

1. What decision would you make if you were the Seal Team’s leader?  Allow them to argue their position and let them feel how easily they can acquiesce into easy, less moral decisions.  Let them wrestle with the idea that making moral decisions in some circumstances that await them as they grow into life may be extremely difficult.
2. Do you think the Seal Team Leader was just born to make difficult, courageous decisions?  Help them understand that courage is learned by exercising the invisible yet valuable muscle that fuels ones courageous decision making strength.
3. Do you think that most, some or very few people in today’s society possess strong courageous decision making muscle like the Seal Team Leader?  Ask if they have witnessed adults or kids in their own lives making courageous decisions and what made those decisions courageous?  Ask them what kind of decisions they can make in their lives that exercise their courageous decision making muscle?
4. What did you observe about the two Seals who wanted to kill the prisoners after the team leader decided to let them go?  They should identify that despite their severe emotional opinion, they quickly refocused on their role on the team and what it would take to give the team the greatest chance of success.  They did not revisit the past, but focused every fiber of their being on the reality of the future and their role in it.  Ask them, what do you think is harder, doing what these two Seals did, or being unjustly accused of committing a foul or penalty in a game or receiving a cheap shot from your opponent that was not identified by the game’s officials?  They will understand immediately.  However, the challenge is to get them to dwell a bit on what it means to quickly forget their emotional attachment to the past event and focus every fiber of their being on the reality of their future for the sake of the team.  Help them connect the idea that this is not a thing you just decide to do when life gets tough, rather it is a muscle that needs exercising on the fields of friendly strife.

Lastly, ask them about the mental and physical toughness displayed by these Seals.  Do you think they just lift weights, go for runs and practice shooting?  Or do you think they spend much time immersed in training their mental and physical toughness “muscles”?

You may not get to all of these questions, as teenage boys have limited attention spans for this sort of thing.  But ultimately you are laying down a foundation to elevate developmental discussions with your son.  And it is on this elevated plain that we can recapture the hearts of boys that are all too often being drawn to pursue emptiness.  Many parents look at sports as something to be done for the pleasure of their children.  Other coaches and parents teach that the greatest virtue in a youth athlete is to love winning and hate losing so much that they pour themselves into a game, play hard, take no prisoners. I believe there is a better way.  I think sports are invaluable activities to allow your children to exercise their courageous decision making muscles and their mental and physical toughness muscles:

• When a referee makes a call, no matter how bad, do not allow yourself to react but make yourself focus every fiber of your being on what you need to do next to help the team succeed.
• When an opponent cheats or takes a cheap shot, do not react emotionally but respond with mental and physical toughness to stay within in the rules but in a way that helps the team succeed.
• When you are on the field or court and you begin to feel tired, or the game is getting away from your team and others are giving up, it is the exact time to go harder, force yourself to stay focused, optimistic, to demonstrate mental, emotional and physical toughness.  This is courageous leadership!

Teenagers are capable of understanding the idea that coaches and parents desire to train them, prepare them for the many difficult situations that will confront them in the future. These situations may not be on a bloody battlefield, but they will be in the unforgiving conflict of an unpredictable life that will unfold for them all too soon.  Teach them you do not desire for them to ultimately learn how to win in just a game, but you desire for them to be mentally and physically tough enough and morally courageous enough... to protect those who can’t protect themselves... to make decisions and stick with them when they are very unpopular but right... and to lead when leadership is absent.  Connect them to the idea that life will take them to places where they will confront great and consequential situations that will devour them if they are not prepared - if they do not have supremely developed “muscles”.

Consider taking your teenage son to see, "Lone Survivor” but make sure you are adequately armed with a teaching agenda that will inspire him to desire a less traveled path that leads to courage and toughness.  Plant a seed that he is destined for the greatness of changing the lives of others, perhaps the course of history, if he throws off the urgings of emotional decision making and the easier path lined with comfort and mediocrity.  Invite him to see - in the midst of sport - more than just a game.

Remember, how your son chooses to play on the fields of friendly strife will be how he ultimately fights the greatest battles of his life.

David Shaw Teaching "Cardinal Football"; Demonstrating "Cardinal Virtue"

David Shaw

I don’t know David Shaw, the head coach of the Stanford Cardinal Football Team, nor have I followed his career closely.  But last Saturday, I witnessed his leadership on display, perhaps only a small sampling of his persona. Yet, what I saw, I believe, is worthy of public amplification.

My wife, Shannon, and I spent the weekend in upstate New York attending the Army – Stanford football game in the classic Michie Stadium at West Point.  Prior to the game, we experienced the Corps of Cadets performing the traditional “review on the plain”.  As they passed by in parade garb, rifles and sabers in tote, it was hard not to think about the considerations of these young men and women.  Their minds must have flashed from college thoughts of a weekend only moments away, to adult thoughts and the reality that graduation may relocate them to Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria or any number of international hot spots.

Cadets Pass in Review

As we walked up the hill to the stadium, we anticipated the drubbing of the much undersized Army, by the 5^th ranked Cardinal.  Within hours, Shaw led his team to an unremarkable victory against the unranked Black Nights… in fact, I can’t remember the last time Army enjoyed a spot in the top 25.  No one expected Army to be competitive.  And despite the 34-20 score, they really weren't.  They give up about 25-30 pounds per player in the positions that require size.  But, this makes sense.  As Stanford’s players are great and “right sized” athletes, chasing their dream to play in the NFL, these cadets from West Point are living their dream, playing a top 5 opponent in Division I football.  Yet just like all of the other cadets, upon graduation, they will exchange their football helmets for Kevlar helmets as they accept a commission in the US Army.  They will not play on Sundays on a simulated battlefield; they will live each day as willing instruments of the nation prepared to meet the enemies of our country on the great and real battlefields of the world.

Here’s what struck me.  As the Cardinal team came on to the field just prior to the game's start, they raced to the end-zone that was in front of the cadet section led by a player carrying a small American flag.  For a moment, as small as the gesture was, I found myself choked up.  In mere moments, these two teams would compete fiercely, yet in this moment, Shaw’s team honored the commitment of these cadet-athletes, their opponents.  Contrary to all pop-culture messaging, in this situation, the better of the two teams rightly honored the lesser.  And, in a sense, Stanford honored Army above themselves.  What a demonstration of respect born out of the virtue of humility, I thought.

Then, after the game was over, Army in step with tradition gathered in front of the cadet section and sang the West Point Alma Mater together.  It was both a somber and motivating affair.  The stadium stood still.  The fate of these players took an almost tangible form.  The end of the song crescendos into these final words,

“Let duty be well performed, honor be e'er un-tarned, country be ever armed, West Point by thee”. 

Players and Corps Gather,
Singing Alma Mater Together

And there, behind Army’s football team, stood Shaw’s Stanford… deliberately organized almost in formation, paying respect to the fight and fate of these future “warriors of liberty”.  

Shaw leads a great team, but moreover, is leading the development of great men: warriors on the fields of friendly strife in effort and skill, but more importantly in character.  Shaw is teaching his players, while demonstrating to a national audience, the Cardinal virtue of Justice and in its extended form, humility.  No, not the "Stanford Cardinal" virtue, but the one articulated by the great thinkers, from Aristotle to Aquinas.  Justice, in its classical form, is not something one “gets for himself”, rather it is insuring that another is given their “due”, sometimes at one’s own expense.  David Shaw’s team, as dominant as they were, elected to diminish themselves, before and after the game, in order to lift up the higher identity of their opponents. 

From what I could see, David Shaw is leading and teaching not just Stanford Cardinal Football well, but he is leading and teaching the great ethic and habit born of great wisdom – the Cardinal Virtues.  His players, our nation and frankly humanity are served well when men and women like Shaw, aim higher, in the midst of athletics, in order to teach the stuff that ultimately guides men and women of true greatness!    

Youth Sports, Parents and Guardrails

Yesterday, I attended my 8 year old son’s soccer game.  During the game, I witnessed something that turned my stomach, yet I guarantee happens hundreds, if not thousands of times every weekend on the sidelines of youth sports. 

One of the boys, who I will call Billy, was assigned his short stint as the goal keeper.  He had probably never played that position before.  But even more so, most kids up through age 10 or 11, are not confident of the quickness of their reactions, so they play “afraid of the ball”.  In addition, they don’t have a good sense of their position relative to the attacker in front of them and the goal behind them.  I really don’t need to describe much else, other than to say that for an 8 year old, this is very, very NORMAL.

During one sequence in the game, the other team found themselves in a chaotic attack.  Our defenders were chasing the ball, getting a foot on it, but then losing contact.  The best player on the opposing team beat the defenders.  Billy, losing all sense of where he was on the field (remember this is NORMAL at this age) made a valiant attempt at charging the attacker.  The player with the ball slipped right, as Billy was almost completely to the left of the goal, and walked the ball into the net.  I hope I said this already, this type of goal keeper play is very, very NORMAL for an 8 year old.  In fact, the fearlessness and exuberance with which Billy pursued the attacker, as well as the skill of the child with the ball were well deserving of encouragement from this crowd of parents.

However, from a truck outside the fence came a disgustingly biting voice accompanied by a tense arm that was pointing aggressively, “Billy, stay in that spot, don’t come out of there!”  If the words don’t sound that bad, just know that every parent on the sideline heard something that sounded more like this, “Billy you are a complete idiot.  You have embarrassed me to the point that I am violently upset and cannot control myself.  You better figure this thing out and figure it out fast, cause I’m mad and you know what I do to when I’m mad…”  And every parent filled in the blank based upon their childhood experiences.  My stomach turned.

From that moment on, Billy remained stuck between the two goal posts, afraid of not just the opposing teams attack, but of the judgment of his dad.  He would look back to that truck multiple times in the course of one “close-in” engagement, his fearlessness and exuberance gone.  Think about that, an 8 year old, worried about the judgment of his father when he should be enthused by the moments of the game.  He should be encouraged to take risks in order to experience new gains.  He should be lifted up by a parental sideline motivated by grace.  And, he should be instructed in a positive manner by his COACH.

It is easy to feel sorry for Billy and to write this off as a parent going a little too far, but I think it is a symptom of something much more insidious and demands the response of good sports parents and coaches.  Parents and coaches must resolve to be good role models from the sidelines during every game and every practice.  They must create a culture that both instructs the other parents (through example), but also makes it extremely uncomfortable for the “Billy’s-dad-types” to act outside the norm.  And, in times like these, they must resolve to address the issue, whenever and however it surfaces.

Billy is in the process of learning how to address adversity and how to react to someone else who does something that upsets him.  Moreover, Billy is in the process of learning how to parent and coach.  In addition, he is determining if he wants to continue with the otherwise healthy and life-skill-building practice of athletics, exercise and competition.

Remember, how your son or daughter plays on the “fields of friendly strife” will be how they will fight the greatest battles of their lives. And at this very young age, the fertile field on which they play must be guarded fiercely by those who know and care about whether or not the Billie’s of the world will be equipped to eventually fight these greatest battles of their lives.

Coaches, RIGHT NOW Players & Blackhawk Down

In the movie Blackhawk Down, there is a sequence worth watching and discussing with teams 7^th grade and older.  In it, a group of Army Rangers retreated to their base camp after a brutal firefight in Somalia.  They prepared to re-enter the fight in order to rescue elements of their unit that were in grave danger.  One of the Rangers, PFC Thomas, distraught by his recent combat experience says he cannot “go back out there… that’s crazy”.  His leader, SSG Struecker, makes the point upon which we should focus our young men’s attention.  He says, “Thomas, it’s what you do RIGHT NOW that makes a difference…it’s your call.”  Watch this scene and talk to your players about what it would look like if they were RIGHT NOW players... how much of a difference could they make? 

Some will make the mistake of thinking that there is no application between war and real life.  But having served in the 2^nd Ranger Battalion and as the father of two boys, 12 years and older, I know that they can learn a great deal from SSG Struecker. 

We not only express who we are by what we do RIGHT NOW, but our character is actually molded by what we do or do not do RIGHT NOW.  Boys and young men train to be who they will become through an infinite number of actions in the RIGHT NOW.  A few of these moments are critical and defining, but all of these moments forge a pathway to habit, good or bad.  SSG Struecker understands the power of "RIGHT NOW action" and the consequence of it.  As PFC Thomas' Coach, Struecker encourages right action and then is quietly elated when Thomas chooses to act rightly. 

Ultimately, our boys really have only one choice in life: “what will I do RIGHT NOW?”  The way they act in response to this question will deliver a consequence, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes great and sometimes seemingly insignificant.  But one thing is certain, the type of man they will become will be sculpted more definitively every time they answer this question with action.  Some boys will choose to spend RIGHT NOW in front of a screen playing video games, while others will spend it learning, being challenged, experiencing.  Some boys will always defer to someone else to answer this question for them, while others will face this question alone and often under pressure, taking chances, experiencing the instruction of reward and defeat.  Some boys will always have someone who shields them from the consequence of their actions when they turn out to be negative and significant, while others will learn the lasting and valuable lessons taught by consequence.

As a coach, much like SSG Struecker, you have an opportunity to challenge boys every practice and every game to energetically tackle RIGHT NOW consistently, with passion and conviction.  And you have the opportunity to teach them that they are not just doing it to win games and to just have fun, but because they are developing one of life’s most critical muscles that will either power them into a successful manhood or fail them and enslave them to perpetual adolescence.  

RIGHT NOW players:

• Never give up, that is allowing the past and the future to determine the present
• Never argue with officials, that is allowing the past to infect the present
• Never argue with the coach or chide fellow players, that is a cancer to the present
• Never allow emotions to hijack their play, this empties them of their potential RIGHT NOW
• Always practice every play, every drill, every conditioning drill as if it is the last second of the most important game of their lives
• Always stay focused on every moment of every game, what can they be doing RIGHT NOW to put themselves in the best position to help the team?
• Always encourage fellow players
• Always believe that the future can be altered in the present
• Always maintain a focus on the most productive use of RIGHT NOW

Here’s an example.  Two weeks ago, during the Oregon-USC football game, the USC quarterback threw a pass to the back of the end zone.  The USC receiver thought he was being “held” by the defender.  He slowed down to draw the attention of the officials and began to argue that he was being “held”.  On the other hand, the Oregon defender, the RIGHT NOW player, continued full speed to the pass and intercepted it.  If the USC receiver had played in the RIGHT NOW mode, he could have at least knocked the pass down and thwarted the interception, if not caught it himself for a touchdown.

This type of play in games doesn’t just happen.  Young players train to be RIGHT NOW athletes (or not to be) during every practice.  Some jog through drills, drag their heels during conditioning and think of the next game as something to consider in the future.  While, other athletes run every drill at game speed, use every minute of practice to push their conditioning to the next level and treat every second as if the next game’s final result depends on what they do RIGHT NOW.  Successful athletes capture the future by seizing the full potential of RIGHT NOW.  As Vince Lombardi said, “Some say practice makes perfect, but I say NO, only perfect practice makes perfect!”  Lombardi understood that tomorrow’s game is won or lost RIGHT NOW!  And, I would add that the success of your players' future lives depend upon their ability to develop the habits of RIGHT NOW men.

I would strongly encourage all coaches to deliberately develop a RIGHT NOW culture.  Inspire your players to play RIGHT NOW in practice and in games, so that they prepare, play and then ultimately live at their highest potential.  After all, success belongs to those who prepare most effectively for life’s most critical moments and then seize those moments with clarity of thought, convicted purpose and perfected action… this can only be done RIGHT NOW.  

Remember, how your boy plays on the “fields of friendly strife” will be how he fights the greatest battles of his life.

For a great example of a RIGHT NOW player, watch this video of Michael Jordan during his famous "Flu Game".  And remember, one of the things that Jordan was most famous, was his consistent tenacity and focus in every practice.  Jordan did not just become this RIGHT NOW player in the limelight, he practiced every day as a RIGHT NOW player and when the situation called for him to step up, he was ready, RIGHT NOW!

What Your Boys Can Learn from Navy Seal Heroes



Tyrone Woods



Yesterday at dinner I told my boys (14, 12, 7) the story of the two CIA operatives and former Navy Seal veterans who were killed in Libya.  I asked them, "Why do people like that run into the fire when they don't need to, while most people run from the fire?"  As current information would indicate (many details are still unclear), Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty were located a mile from the US Embassy when it came under attack.  Against orders from their superiors, they "ran to the fire" and attempted to defend the consulate against an organized and highly armed terrorist attack.  They held off the enemy for up to 7 hours before being killed.



Glen Doherty

My boys were perplexed with this question.  Initially they thought that this is just what men do.  After continuing to probe, they determined by consensus that people in the military "train" to "run into the fire".  And so they concluded, it is practice that prepares a man for moments like these.

They stumbled upon an understanding of something that used to be known by everyone from Aristotle to George Washington, from Thomas Aquinas to John Wooden, but is woefully misunderstood today.  Courage is not a trait that passes from generation to generation through strands of DNA, nor is it the result of an emotionally motivated moment. Rather, courageous action is possible when one deliberately practices it.  Then, when opportunity presents itself, it springs into action naturally, logically, habitually yet heroically.

My boys and I talked about the opportunities in sports to practice such courage.  Since they are all currently playing basketball, we talked about how some of the kids looked for opportunities to "get out of" the conditioning drills or to run them at half speed.  And, we talked about how it is particularly hard to "gut it out" in the last 5 minutes of practice when the coach makes them run lines.  I told them, "it is in these moments, when your legs feel like they are on fire, that your opportunity to practice courage calls to you."

In most youth athletics we should seek to motivate our sons and our players not by fear, but by inspiring them to ascend to a higher plain where choosing courage consistently is not just for short term athletic gain but it is also a necessary step towards a successful manhood.  It is important to constantly challenge our boys in sports and in life with this question, "will you practice to run to the fire or will you accept a life where you will always run from it?"

Remember, how your boy plays on the “fields of friendly strife” will be how he fights the greatest battles of his life.

For more on Courage in Sports Act of Valor "is" for Our Boys

Coaches: Draft your Parents on Game-Day

Coaches:  Consider taking a stand against the decline of appropriate sideline parenting and for the development of your players as future men.

Feel free to copy this coaches guide as well as the "parent-spectator" covenant document.

A Coach’s Case for Drafting Parents as “Team Members” on Gamedays

Gen. McArthur believed that some of life’s greatest lessons are learned on the “battlefields” of athletics.  In fact, our military academies continue to lean heavily on this belief in their selection process and their rigorous formal instruction. 

“On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that upon other fields on other days shall bear the fruits of victory.”  General Douglas McArthur

Who you will become in times of trial and hardship results from who you train and practice to become in times of trial and hardship.  General McArthur and to some degree our military believe that there is no better place to practice, this side of combat, than in competitive athletics.

If you don’t buy into this, then nothing that follows has any application to you.  But if you believe that the “fields of friendly strife” are precisely the location on which your players will most effectively learn some of the greatest lessons in life, then you must consider how to be the most effective coach before, during and after these “battles”.  To do so well, requires every parent to be part of that effort, all pulling in the same direction. 

Unfortunatley, many parents are either oblivious to or incapable of fulfilling their responsibility to the development of their children during games.  This is why I strongly recommend that coaches take the bull by the horns and “draft” each parent onto the team, giving them a clear and limited role.  The stark reality is that most parents do not have definitive behavioral expectations nor do they have anyone willing and capable of holding them accountable to their role.  And this role is simply what is best for the team and for their children.

Our Youth Sports are Infected by Dysfunctional “Parent-Spectators”

It is not uncommon to find parents in almost any town in America standing on the sidelines or in the stands yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs.  They ciritique and berate the officials, the coaches, the players and sometimes even the other parents.  They coach their children during the games, often at levels beyond the capabilities of their son or daughter and most commonly with advice that has not been taught by the coach. 

In these same games, especially the ones where the parents exhibit these characteristics, it is equally common to find young players barking back at their coaches, questioning the judgement of the officials and riding waves of uncontrolled emotions that inhibit their ability to compete at their best. 

Worse yet, these behaviors being taught and reinforced on the fields and courts, albeit indirectly, may manifest in adulthood as one or more of these tendencies:

·         A quick instinct to blame others for negative outcomes

·         An acceptance of “temper tantrums” as a normative behavior

·         An inability to maintain composure in times of great stress, threat or insult 

·         An inability to ramp up emotion when it is advantageous and to ramp it down when it is counterproductive. 

It is solely for the good of children and the generations that will someday rule the world that parents must re-assume thier roles as “Parent-Spectators” in a way that nurtures character and encourages virtue.

What is a “Parent-Spectator”?

First, it might be easier to understand what a “Parent-Spectator” is NOT.  S/he is not part of the game, nor is s/he “just” a spectator. 

·         Those who ARE actually part of the game are being instructed by their coaches, they are accountable to the officials and because they are playing the game, they are responsible to influence the outcome of the game by how they act, what they say and what they do.

·         On the other hand, those who ARE spectators have no obligation or responsibility to the coaches, the officials or the players.  What they do and how they do it is based soley upon how they desire to enjoy the game. 

“Parent-Spectators”, ARE NOT under the “command” of the coaches, they ARE NOT accountable to the officials and ARE NOT responsible to influence the outcome of the game by what they say, how they act or what they do.  On the other hand, by virtue of parenting one of the players, the “Parent-Spectator” DOES HAVE a responsibility, an obligation to the officials, the coaches and ultimately the life skill development of the players. 

Whether in the home enforcing the completion of homework or modeling appropriate behaviors in public, good parenting requires the “seeking out” of “teaching moments”.  After all a parents job is to engage their youth in the possiblity of becoming more than they otherwise might desire.  This responsibility is no less true from the sidelines or from the stands.  How you act, what you say and what you do WILL influence the development and character of your son or daughter and their team.  You are neither part of the game, nor “just” a spectator; you are a “Parent-Spectator”.

What is the Effective Application of Emotional Control?

The greatest of athletes, the ones who get more out of their athleticism and skills than anyone else (this doesn’t mean the most successful athletes, rather the most successful with what God has given them) apply the power of emotional contol more effectively than everyone else. 

This means that they:

1.      Focus all anger, all fear, all enthusiasm, all energy in the precise moments when they need that “little extra”

a.       When they should be overpowered by the stronger, more physcial opponent

b.      When they should fail because their skill or athleticism falls short

c.       When they should collapse because they are flat out exhausted

2.      Restrain their emotions when precision is the most important objective

a.       Shooting that important free throw

b.      Quickly turning that grounder into a double play

c.       Throwing that 12 yard loft pass over the defense into that hands of the open receiver in the endzone

d.      Laying off the quarterback when he gets the pass of just before they put the hit on him

3.      Experience the joy of leaving it all on the field or the court after the game

a.       Not encumbered by the inability to let a loss go

b.      Not unable to truly experience the joy that comes from a hard fought victory

These are not skills necessary to win games… only… they are in fact the essence of functional character; they constitute one of life’s greatest virtues.  Teaching these behaviors, modeling them, practicing them and demanding them is not just the winning gameplan for a prudent coach, but it is the template for raising youth who will someday become men and women of great character, of great influence, of great and positive consequence.

The Great Appeal

Many will believe that their behavior from the sidelines is of little or no consequence to their players or the team.  Some will even think that their little “tyrades” might actually inspire their sons, daughters or players to play with passion and perhaps might effect the officials to call a more “favorable game”. 

This is both rediculous and illogical.  This is apparent to everyone who witnesses their behaviors who are not emotionally vested in the game or the players.  Those in control of their emotions see clearly that these parents who are screaming at the officials, denograting the opposing players and coaching from the sidelines are doing so as if their personal value were being created by the performance of their son or daughter and their team.

“Parent-spectators” should aspire to perform their “roles” as well as they want their sons or daughters to perform on the field, and in life.  All parents should be asked to become familiar with their role and to take it seriously.  They should be asked to sign a commitment to the team, a covenant, to contribute to the best of their ability.

“Parent-Spectator” Team Role and Covenant

“Parent-Spectator” Team Role

As a “Parent-Spectator” I have a very unique and specific role on the team that is just as important as the coach’s and the player’s roles.  It is critical that I constantly check myself at practice and at games with this question, “what am I doing right now to help the team by performing my role to the best of my ability?”

My role is to:

·         Model positive emotional behaviors and restraints

·         Encourage excellence, character and effort regardless of the outcome

·         Release my son or daughter completely to the game, their coaches and the officials

I am not “part of the game” nor am I “just” a spectator.  I have an obligation and responsibility to the team, the officials and the opposing team.  But most of all, I have an immense responsibility to my own son or daughter, to set the most positive example of character, poise and emotional restraint.

“Parent-Spectator” Team Covenant

I recognize that how I act, what I say and what I do broadcasts loudly to my son or daughter as if to proclaim, “Act like me, scream like me, behave like me” when you compete.

Therefore, I WILL NOT…

… respond nor react to any calls made or not made by the officiating team.  I recognize that I do not have a right to address any official directly or indirectly and that doing so viloates my role on the team.

… address any player, coach or parent from the opposing team directly or indirectly unless I am fulfilling my role as an encourager of excellence, character and effort.  I recognize that I do not have a right to communicate with them in a critical or negative way and that doing so violates my role on the team.

… attempt to instruct or coach from the sidelines.  I understand that my role is to release my son or daughter to the game as well as the other players so that they may succeed or fail without judgement from anyone other than their coach.

I WILL…

… cheer on excellence, character and effort regardless of the score or outcome

… model positive behaviors and emotional restraint

… release my son or daughter completely to the game, their coaches and the judgement of the officials

I fully understand my role as a “Parent-Spectator” and will hold myself accountable to contribute to the development and success of the team.  I will remove myself from practices or games if I cannot fulfull my role fully.  I agree to leave the games or practices if asked to do so by the coach.

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